soul meets body...

It's been a fun week with so many cool "ending" lectures and it has also been a bit emotional (it always feels deeper during the end of the semester) some of my friends are actually graduating and beginning their professional lives this time so it's really energizing for me.

On to the point: check out this severely-beautiful music video by Deathcab for Cutie, it's so simple and pure and yet so touching and deeply moving to me. It's a song I have always liked and this video takes the experience even further. I posted the video right here on manufacturedfreedom so you can just click the link and watch it right in the browser (I already scanned it for viruses and such so no worries there). If for some reason the video won't play use the second link to update your Quicktime software to the newest revision, Quicktime 7 HD. Watch the video closely FIRST and then read on in this post below.

Video (down temporarily)







My take on the video: For me it is an analogy of music to life. It is about the time your soul meets your body and the ambiguity that surrounds the process of life. As the lead singer walks through the forest, nature surrounds him with foliage and animals. He begins singing (creation unfolds) and you see bits of goo or fungus seeping out of crevasses and trees which symbolize our birth and emergence from mother earth. The notes rise or "grow up" and begin their ascent in life out of the forest and through the sky. they begin close to nature. As the song unfolds the notes travel through many different places which symbolize the spending of life... We see the notes facing the challenges of life, crossing the road and being blown around, huddling by the light* to keep warm. One of the first notes to go astray on this journey is coaxed by a young girl who then captures and entraps the note. At first the note struggles to become free once more and you see it tapping away at the lid but tragically without freedom the note dies and the young girl looks on, tapping the side of the jar. The second note is lost as the group enters into the core of a city and has completely left nature. It has resisted temptations of many sorts but gets hung up on razor-wire, an analogy for war and politics. Just as young men and women give their lives for our country (and others) this note has been lost (prematurely? or was that its purpose) and we see another note which gets hung up in a similar way, resting on technology (the telephone wire)... As the song nears its end and the notes continue their journey we begin to see water and dead leaves that are reminiscant of the opening segment of living nature, we recognize a cycle. One of the final notes struggles along (in old age) and crawls its last paces in a sandy embankment. In stark contrast to the sandy death, another note is shown hung up on a fence, almost over... frozen forever in a scene of purpose, "trying to get somewhere". None of the notes are flying any more, they have each traveled their path to it's end and the life is almost gone. Youth has been lost and there is hardly anything that resembles the opening scenes of the video besides the ongoing music being performed... the song of life unchanged for each of us. The notes of our lives deviate but the song remains. There is a distinct feeling of sadness with the images of the last few dying notes in the back of our minds. Each death was moddled so carefully, tugging at a primal feeling within all of us for what it means to die and what it looks like. Once more we return to nature, but this time a different scene is shown. A beach with a sunset and clear skies is pictured. A small group of notes goes floating out to sea. Are these the notes that made it? Are they the chosen notes who did not stray from the path of "God" or is this a representation for all of us going to some sort of heaven... our soul once again alone as our body decays: dust. Music, life, is unique each time it is played out. It is a living breathing form that only exists temporarily, when soul meets body.

Remember, I Remember - by Thomas Hood

I remember, I remember
The house where I was born,
The little window where the sun
Came peeping in at morn;
He never came a wink too soon
Nor brought too long a day;
But now, I often wish the night
Had borne my breath away.

I remember, I remember
The roses, red and white,
The violets and the lily-cups--
Those flowers made of light!
The lilacs where the robin built,
And where my brother set
The laburnum on his birthday,--
The tree is living yet!

I remember, I remember
Where I was used to swing,
And thought the air must rush as fresh
To swallows on the wing;
My spirit flew in feathers then
That is so heavy now,
The summer pools could hardly cool
The fever on my brow.

I remember, I remember
The fir-trees dark and high;
I used to think their slender tops
Were close against the sky:
It was a childish ignorance,
But now 'tis little joy
To know I'm farther off from Heaven
Than when I was a boy.


....pocket

Loveburn

I wrote this song two nights ago because it helped me to deal with my energy. It's easy to go crazy without getting some of those ideas out and sharing them and music is a fun (less dangerous) way of doing that. I might post the audio version of this song under manufactured music later this week when I can sing it better, right now I have this whooping cough thing and it's harder to sing without coughing or going off key.


I'm living up to my promises, I'm not gonna walk away
I'm living up to my weaknesses, I'll do it anyway

Cuz my life is a journey and your face is just one stop
I won't let myself down this way cuz love is all I've got

I can't make you do anything and I wouldn't anyway
I'd like to hear back from you though; I've been waiting all damn day

I'm living up to my promises, I'm not gonna walk away
I'm living up to my weaknesses, I'll do it anyway

So take your "this and that" and all those things I never knew
I made myself a friend back then and the things I did were true

I feel like heaps of shit right now but I know I'm growing strong
I told you that I loved you then now tell me how can that be wrong

I'm living up to my promises, I'm not gonna be held down
I've been my greatest enemy, lets turn this trip around.

Sometimes the greatest flower is the one left at the trail
With petals leading back to her don't be afraid to fail

October 13th

so, 13? Today is my birthday, October the 13th and so many people have it as an unlucky number I feel like it is abandoned and so I took it on and now it is a source of power for me. It has to do with a side of me that is a bit punk and rebellious. I like it because it is unique and original and prime. 13 is my favorite number.

GTA San Andreas... America has mixed up values

How can such a violent game with outright criminal activity and simulated violence and killing (which are very adult) be outcast for a simple sex game where no real nudity is shown? For the love of god, what has this world come to? What about "make love not war" what about the fact that all of us exist because of sex? What the heck is wrong with our parents and the government?
"Oh, it has sexual stuff? Gosh, I'm a fricken homophobic who is sexually embarrassed and inept (not to mention impotent) and since I'm such a dumb bias prick, I'd better over shelter my kids and teach them to express themselves with violence instead" WTF, this is such an over reaction by the American Public... Yes, I am American... proud? Not right now...

My most sincere apologies if this comment offends you, it is an expression of my own feelings and does not reflect the opinions of gamespot, hillary clinton, or you metaphorical parents. Thank you.

Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith, Conservatives / Liberals

Many Hollywood film commentators have noted that many of the events in Star Wars Episode III are allegorical in nature, the metaphor being the Bush administration and the Iraq war.
Most notably the lines:
"If you're not with me your against me!" said Sith Lord/ former Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. The real world parallel being President Bush's state of the union speech where he also tell the terrorist of the world if you're not with peaceful democratic nations, you are against us.
And the lines said by senator Padame:
"This is how democracy ends, with applause."
The metaphor being that of the house and senate applauding after George Bush's "Axis of Evil" speech.
Although a superficial examination of the film reveals the film personifies right-wing, hard line conservatives as the evil Sith, a deeper examination of the events of the film reveals that elements of both liberal and conservative thinking are present in both the righteous Jedi and devious Sith.

All Things Equal

A common element you find in liberal thinking is the idea that all things must be equal. The shining example equivocal thinking is communist/ socialist ideas, specifically the idea that no one individual deserves more than another and therefore all should receive equal access to basic human rights: housing, food, employment, medical, etc. Another example is the liberal notion that all cultures are equally valuable, resulting in college students taking English Literature as well as Native American literature classes.
In Episode III this element of liberal thought is not present in the Jedi but in the Sith. In the scene where Senator Palpatine/ Lord Sidious and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker are in the futuristic opera house, Palpatine convinces Anakin that
"The Sith seek ultimate power but the Jedi also seek more power. I see no difference between the two."
A direct byproduct of this equivocal thinking is moral confusion - the inability to determine right from wrong. If you ask most liberals about their stance on the Iraq War they usually say:
"It is wrong of us (United States) to impose our beliefs and values on another culture."
If you ask a liberal, however, if Saddam Hussein is an evil person, they will often either dodge the question or retort with the statement:
"Bush is no better than Saddam, Saddam invaded Kuwait, Bush invaded Iraq."
When you equate everything the definition of good and evil becomes a shade of gray. Good people have lapses of evil actions and evil people have lapses of good actions. In Episode III the Jedi are reduced to asking Anakin to spy on Senator Palapatine and are reduced to killing their enemies instead of capturing them. After the duel between Anakin and Sith lord Count Dooku, Anakin is encouraged by Palapatine to kill him. Later Anakin is not scolded and punished for his actions but instead receives praise from his Jedi mentor Obi-Wan. Through the creation of the oppressive empire, the Sith do indeed create some form of peace throughout the galaxy. Both sides commit actions which are unbecoming of the true good and true evil and therefore the statement Palapatine made about Jedi and Sith being equal should be correct. If you ask any Star Wars fan, however, you will find they associate the Jedi with absolute good and Sith as absolute evil. Why is that? Although Jedi have lapses of correct moral behavior their intentions always remain good.

Moral Confusion

This moral confusion, although reflective of the shades of gray that exist in real life decision making, can be unhealthy when confronted with true evil. What ultimately causes the downfall of the Jedi order?
They were unable to detect the presence of evil.
Palaptine is able to mask his identity as a Sith lord and keep the Jedi unaware that he is true evil.
"The dark side clouds the force." -Yoda.
His force power of persuasion ("You don't need to see my identification") effectively influences senators to liking him and supporting him. Although one can argue that those helpless senators were unable to resist his powers, just like Tango it takes two to be persuaded. By the way the force power of persuasion only works on the weak minded.
Convincing strong minded Jedi for the Sith Lord required an appeal to emotion and intellectual deception. In the film Anakin is more easily persuaded to join Lord Sidious after Sidious/Palapatine convinces him that the Jedi and Sith are equal and then convinces him that the Jedi are evil. Anakin is also motivated by intense love for his young wife senator Padame and the desire to save her. Palapatine plays on Anakin's emotions and entices him with the learning of a force power to prevent death. Instead of accepting Yoda's wisdom of rejoicing at death and celebrating their life, Anakin chooses to greedily choose saving his wife's life and killing anyone who gets in his way.

Lethal Force Powers

Finally the largest metaphor in the movie is that the evil Palaptine manipulating the Jedi and Senate to start a war and after the chaos becomes a dictator. Most movie goers would equate this to the actions of George Bush. The use of lethal force is usually abhorred by liberals, preferring negotiation rather than start war. Conservatives usually favor war when they are unable to negotiate with un-reasonable people. It is true that the Jedi are more a defensive organization than an offensive organization.
"The Jedi are peacekeepers, not solders." -Jedi Master Windu
Although the Sith use lethal force to achieve their selfish goals, to say the Jedi do not use their power lethally is also inaccurate. In Episode I when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jin are sent to negotiate with the trade federation they use their force powers to slice and dice their way through trade federation droids. No further attempts are made at negotiations throughout the film. As mentioned before, the Jedi recognize the evil of the Sith and take every measure to exterminate them with the rational that they are too dangerous to let live.
Ignoring the complexity of the issues presented in the Star Wars films and Episode III would do injustice to George Lucas's masterful sci-fi creation. If one critically looks at the films it becomes clear that both elements of liberal and conservative thinking exist in both Jedi and Sith.

Human to unwant others

This realization has been slowly building inside of me. People, even nice good people, put others down and compare them as objects would be. This is done on a regular basis. There always seems to be something negative one person can say about another. I believe there are two types of putdowns, the first one is where you put yourself down because that is what you were trained to do by your friends and family (we usually ignore bullies). The second is when our family and friends put us down and limit our potential by defining us.

Time for a story: Today I met a family friend of my mother who has a young son. The boy was young enough that his voice still sounded like a girl and he clung all over his mother for attention and affection. The mother, unfortunately, never wanted the kid (as my mother later told me) and has since separated from the man who helped her get the child in the first place. I watched her push the kid away many times as he reached out to her and I saw her making faces of disgust and embarrassment as the child was rejected. How completely terrible? At least put the kid up for adoption or have an abortion or something! The problem is, she would never choose what was right for the child; she would be too self conscious to risk alienating herself from society and her friends to admit she had screwed up and ask for help. Society is a lot like our family and friends, it guides our minds into entrapment and we torture others with our problems instead of admitting they are our own.

Some people don't believe in abortion, okay thats fine with me, I respect your beliefs. I ask you to consider acknowledging the murders of fully functioning empowered adults by unaborted unwanted children. I believe that is precisely what happens when children are raised by parents who hate them (and tell them so on a regular basis through verbal and body language) and all the kid has is TV and reckless friends, drugs and alcohol to turn to. The kid grows up and shoots his classmates, he or she resorts to violence and hatred towards others (because that is all they have been given from their own parents). We are all capable of amazing things and it is sad to see that potential to amaze acted out in such terrible ways. Maybe it adds contrast to the adult lives of the rest of us "normals" but the contrast usually comes in the flavor crimson red.

My story doesn't stop there, even though that is the most drastic and immediate example. Each day I see and hear people around me naming other people, defining them into their current state, trapping them. Is it necessary for all of us to be the same? We all know it is a blessing to have diversity among our fellows because it helps round out our shortcomings (at which point we can feel perfect about ourselves and put others down). Isn't it sad that instead of appreciating our construction worker friends, and our young pregnant friends, those who dropped out to pursue their own path or join the military, isn't it sad that we cast them away? I admit I have almost forgotten my shortcomings as they were beaten into me by my peers in middle school. At least in middle school we all felt equal externally, while a select few suffered domestic abuse and mental suffocation. Just as we cast others away, we are casting a part of ourselves away; we are limiting our own potential to follow our hearts in new directions. We set up fences around ourselves and end up avoiding the potential for greatness out of fear for being called a hypocrite. Yes, a hypocrite... That is a powerful word isn't it? Kind of sounds like "Flip Flopper" and we all know the effects that word had on John Kerry during the elections. Hypocrite, it is quite possible the worst thing anyone could be called, it makes you human.

It truly is human to unwant others, even ourselves. My goal isn't to flood this post with negativity, just ask others to recognize their inner human and forgive it for being such a piece of shit. Yes, a bit extreme, I know... The next time you feel trapped, or maybe you are trapping others by talking behind their back (really trapping the people you are talking with, reminding them of what will happen behind their backs), just reread this post please. One of my good friends believes people are part animal and part angel, forgive yourself for all of the terrible things you feel and do. Make a mental change.

Encourage those around you for what you like about them, not the things you dislike. Everyone has potential to be great when encouraged. Don't let negative encouragement guide them astray. Don't let them hate themselves and shoot your kids at school, don't let them hate in groups and blow up our busses or our buildings, don't let them hate the way they were treated. Don't let them feel like you... As we encourage others we set ourselves free to encourage ourselves.

I want to contrast the writings above by explaining that I do not believe all people are equal, nor should they be treated as such. If someone earns a black eye, let them wear it. Be the one to offer a better way. Remind yourself that everyone can be happy, that is the only thing we all have equally in common. Different things make different people happy, money, attention, solitude... let them have it and do not feel ashamed to be richer or poorer. For sickness and in health we will always have the potential to encourage those around us.

Nonexistent Noisy Past

This is a response to the following pieces:

White Noise, by Don Delillo
Plasticville, by David Trinidad
Generation X, by Douglas Coupland

Few things remain constant and fresh in our world. The ultimate expression of change which effects and also affects us at the same time is aging and death. We try to relate to each other in our own ways and although our memories sometimes overlap I would argue beyond this, that each of us seeks a constant and relatable experience which we can hold on to and share. To find the parts of ourselves that match a past we can relate to we turn to knowledge and experience. We are a highly social being and it is through our memories of TV shows, lifestyles, and our common experiences with death that we begin to comfort ourselves. The readings in White Noise, plasticville, and Generation X each communicate this human trait, and stimulate our own desire as a reader to feel "the" past.

When people have free time they often use it to relive and "relieve" the past. It is interesting that these two words are only separated by one letter. Whether it be through watching Nick at Night or going on road trips or visiting our old houses or jobs we take comfort in the past, even if it isn't necessarily our past, because it is constant and we can all use it to relate. Using the example of the road trip story in Generation X, the characters had never even lived in the valley they visited but through studying and story telling and observation they could relate and take comfort in what had happened there, as if it was a hard time they had all overcome together. Again in Generation X the example of shared past comes up when the old picture of Marilyn Monroe is exposed, (or should I say, the old picture of Marilyn Monroe exposed comes up). The media affects us in many seemingly adverse ways, but I would argue that the way it exposes everyone to common products and music and media etc. etc. is not necessarily a bad thing when it comes to bonding. Even on the other side of the world people could relate to Marilyn Monroe in Generation X and isn't that comforting? In each of these books experiences speak to us because we have lived similar lives through the media and the world we all share. It may be boring and un-inspirational but I can understand a need to feel a part of something as big as Marilyn Monroe, urban housing, or Barbie.

America sells. We here in America all buy, and buying is a constant and comforting experience. In each of these three pieces, which took place primarily in America, buying was a subject that not only came up, but was a constant part of the story. The old housing development in Generation X was set to make a fortune at one point, and its now devastated ruin fascinated the road trippers. They spoke of those who had bought in and must be weathering it out all alone in what now seemed like a wasteland. Moving on to Plasticville it is quite apparent the roll that buying has played on the characters; the book is all about the toys our characters bought as kids. The primary reason any of those characters could relate well, or rather, why their stories and poems all seemed to mesh is because of the continuity of the toys or objects being sold to them during their early adolescence. The best and most revealing example of the comforts that buying can bring is White Noise. The grocery store provides a rest haven for our characters. It is a physical manifestation of the idea that past trends repeat themselves. Just as trends seem to constantly repeat over time in our culture, the grocery store physically remains constant and is something parents and children share alike. Just as a mother and daughter living in the year 2000 could share stories about driving their VW Beetles, they could also enjoy and understand the grocery store together. There is an inherent difference between the past and the present however; grocery stores and VW Bugs get newer and nicer while we as humans get old and die. People are made to deal with change in life, but there are certain areas that we rely on for consistency, and when they suddenly re-stock our grocery store shelves differently than we are used to it can cause major upset. Buying is a big comfort in America and we rely on it for comfort. It is no wonder then that the central focus of the media in America is on selling things to us.

These books not only made me think but also feel. I am a person living in the here and now of today, and much of the material in these books worked on me as it did on the characters in the stories. It is hard to say whether painkillers are a benefit to society or rather a dangerous drug exposing us to addiction and limiting our full experience of all that life has to offer, including pain. By providing everyone with a consistent knowledge base the media gives us security and a feeling of fit. As our lives continue to overflow with comfort and consistency how will the way we deal with the pain of change? One of the biggest dangers of drugs is addiction, and if we become addicted to the idea of how other cultures are "supposed" to act our what old toys "were" like, or how our family is "supposed" to run will we lash out as in White Noise or will we continue to lie to ourselves and use the painkiller of the media.